Direct Experience: The Only Teacher That Sticks
I've read probably a hundred books on personal growth. I've listened to thousands of hours of podcasts. I've taken courses, attended workshops, consumed more content than I could ever catalog.
You know what actually changed me?
Getting in the arena. Failing publicly. Having the hard conversation. Making the scary decision. Sitting with discomfort instead of running from it.
Not reading about those things. Doing them.
The Consumption Trap
We live in an age of infinite knowledge and limited action. You can spend years "preparing" for change without ever changing. I know because I did it.
Consuming content feels productive. You're learning! You're growing! Look at all this insight you're gathering!
But insight without action is just entertainment. You haven't really learned something until it's been tested in your life, until you've seen how it holds up when things get hard.
What the Arena Teaches
When you step into the arena—when you actually do the thing you've been preparing for—you learn things that no book can teach:
- •**What you're actually capable of** (almost always more than you thought)
- •**Where your real edges are** (often different than you expected)
- •**How you respond under pressure** (useful data for growth)
- •**That survival is possible** (the fear was worse than the reality)
Reading about vulnerability doesn't make you vulnerable. Having the uncomfortable conversation does. Thinking about career changes doesn't change your career. Applying, interviewing, quitting, starting—those change your career.
The Role of Preparation
I'm not saying don't prepare. Preparation has its place. But notice when preparation becomes procrastination. Notice when "one more book" is actually fear wearing a productivity costume.
Here's my rule of thumb: if you've consumed the same basic advice three different times from three different sources, you don't need more information. You need to act.
How I Use This in Our Work
When we work together, I'm not going to give you homework that involves more reading or more thinking. I'm going to ask you to do things. Small things at first, then bigger ones.
- •Have a specific conversation this week
- •Try one new behavior and report back
- •Sit with a feeling for ten minutes and notice what happens
- •Take one concrete step toward the thing you've been avoiding
We'll process what happens. We'll adjust. We'll learn from direct experience. Because that's the only kind of learning that actually sticks.
The Invitation
What have you been preparing for that you're actually ready to do?
What conversation have you been rehearsing that's ready to be had?
What decision are you avoiding by gathering more information?
At some point, you have to get in the water. Might as well be today.