You Already Know (You Just Don't Trust It Yet)
Here's what I've learned from sitting with hundreds of people in moments of decision and transition:
They almost always already know.
The answer they're seeking? It's there, underneath the fear and doubt and second-guessing. They just don't trust it yet.
The Signal Is Always Broadcasting
I call it the signal—that quiet inner knowing that speaks beneath the noise of fear, conditioning, and other people's expectations. It's not loud. It doesn't argue. It doesn't try to convince you. It just... knows.
When someone tells me they don't know what they want, I believe them. And I also know that somewhere in them, they do. The signal is always broadcasting. The question is whether they can hear it.
Why We Don't Trust Ourselves
We've been trained not to trust ourselves. Think about it:
- •"Ask an expert"
- •"What do the authorities say?"
- •"Don't trust your gut—look at the data"
- •"Other people know better"
We grow up learning to outsource our knowing. Teachers, parents, bosses, influencers—everyone has an opinion about what you should do. Eventually, the external voices become so loud that we can't hear our own.
Then we end up in my office (or on my Zoom call) saying, "I just don't know what I want."
The Work of Clearing
My job isn't to give you answers. It's to help you hear the answers you already have.
That's what I mean by "clearing the way"—removing the obstacles between you and your own knowing. Those obstacles usually look like:
- •Fear dressed up as logic
- •Old stories about who you're supposed to be
- •Other people's expectations you absorbed without questioning
- •Perfectionism and the need for certainty
When we clear enough of that away, the signal becomes audible. And usually, you realize you knew all along.
What It Sounds Like
Here's how I know someone is hearing their signal:
Their voice changes. It gets quieter, often. More certain, paradoxically. There's less "I think" and more "I know." Less explaining, more declaring.
And when I ask, "What's stopping you?"—the obstacles suddenly seem smaller. Because when you're connected to your truth, fear loses some of its power.
The Practice
Start noticing when you already know but are pretending you don't. That's the practice.
It might sound like:
- •"Part of me thinks..."
- •"I mean, I already know I should..."
- •"It's probably crazy, but..."
That's your signal, trying to get through.
You can spend your life looking for answers outside yourself. Or you can start the work of learning to trust what you already know.
The choice is yours. But I think you know which one is right for you.